One side of the story...

He sat in his easy chair with a book in one hand, a soda in the other, and a plate with a sandwich precariously perched on one knee. His faithful dog sat at his feet, quietly watching, secretly hoping for just one crumb. As the sandwich slowly disappeared, so too did the dog's wishes.

The TV was on, the game being one of the more boring of the season, and so he paid little attention to its doldrum existence. The only time it got his interest was during an occasional commercial, at which time he would glance over the top of his book, hoping to catch a glimpse of a beautiful girl advertising beer or shoes or clothes or cars or tampons or even the National Inquirer. Yes, Leonard liked women. But unfortunately for Leonard, women didn't reciprocate the feeling.

Not to say that Leonard didn't have his luck with women, there were a few encounters with the gentler sex. For instance, he remembered vividly the day when sweet Alice from down the street treated him to lunch; and to this day there hasn't been anyone in the world who could make a better peanut butter and jelly sandwich than Alice's mom. Then there was the time when he took Robin Metzger roller skating, and boy did he have fun. He still can recall the way she touched him as she pushed him into the wall every time he got near. Yeah, Leonard was at times quite a ladies man.

But even as he remembered these, Leonard still was haunted by the times Lady Luck, or any lady for that matter, stepped in and made his life miserable. Cindy Pullingame stood him up seven times in seven days. Marcia Wilson broke his nose when he asked her to accompany him to the movies. Then, not being satisfied with that, she broke his best friend's arm, and to this day, Joe hasn't regained full mobility. And the worst, the absolute worst date in recorded history, short of Delilah's hairstyling date with Samson, occurred when Carla Norris turned out to be Carl Norris. And to think he actually liked her… him.

These are the memories that will haunt Leonard until the day he dies.

Why is it that women love to treat Leonard so? Is it because of his looks? No, Leonard is actually quite handsome. Is it because of the fact that he's poor? No, Leonard can get just about anything he wants. Is Leonard a jerk? No, he is rather charismatic, in truth. But Leonard has one problem, and it is the driving force in his ongoing losing battle with women. Yes, Leonard likes Barney.

Leonard tries to move the arm of the G.I. Joe sitting on the table next to his chair, and the arm again falls off. Damn that Cindy Wilson! He's going to get her one day, just wait and see.

He bobbles the plate on his knee and for just a moment, the dog's hopes and dreams are about to become a reality, but Leonard is too fast, and he quickly recovers the sandwich. Leonard gives the dog an evil look, which causes the dog to cower. Leonard then smiles and tosses the remainder of his snack to his loyal companion. The sandwich never touches the floor.

"Mom, is it time yet?"

"Almost, dear."

"You won't forget, will you?"

"No, dear."

"Thanks, Mom."

Leonard continues to read his book, but his patience is starting to dwindle. He looks at the television, and his heart races when he sees the gorgeous woman selling his favorite product. "One day," he murmurs to himself, "One day just me and her are going to...MOM, IS IT TIME YET?"

"Yes, dear."

Leonard races to the television set with lightning speed, then remembers the remote control is on the table by his chair. He dashes back, flies into his seat, and changes the channel. "Good morning, boys and girls..."

Leonard quietly resolved to worry about his problems at another time. Maybe when he turned eight. Yeah, when he turned eight, he and that girl on TV were going to sit down and have some Trix together. He'll be older then, and she won't stand a chance.