A little over a day

...until Turkey Day. The holiday season is here. As I get older... excuse me, youth impaired, the holidays are becoming more of a mixed bag of blessings and angst.

It has been just a couple of weeks since I lost a dear member of my family, and some of the angst can be attributed to this. Unfortunately, I lost 3 grandparents within 2 years of each other, all within the same several weeks in October and early November. They were the anchors of my extended family, and their presence is greatly missed. It will be some time before the food tastes quite as good on this holiday, and there are some things I fear I will never see their like again. This is most vividly expressed in my Grandmother Carroll's chocolate cream pie.

My mother is definitely no slouch in the kitchen, and her chocolate chip cookies have been my true kryptonite since I was a kid. They are simply the best in the world (bring it on, all challengers). She is great at all things culinary (except for a brief period in the 70's when she made this "tuna roll - log - thing" which I felt would have been better served... well, never) and she can make a feast with the best of them. But even using my Grandmother's recipe she can't duplicate that chocolate cream pie. However, I will continue to challenge her.

The rest of my angst is pretty easy to explain. You see, I have never been in a romantic relationship during any major holiday. I have never had the pleasure of spoiling my girl with the well thought out Valentine's or Christmas present. I continue to be optimistic (trying hard to be anyway), so let me just say I have a lot of years worth of ideas waiting to be unleashed. As close as my family is, this time of the year is pretty lonely for me, and more so each passing year.

The blessings? Each one has a name. They are my family and friends, the people who have allowed me to share in their joys and pains, and even burdened some of mine. I look at these people and know there is good in the world and there are things worth fighting for. To those I don't get to see as much as I would like, know you are part of what makes me who I am. In one way or another, thru a dirty joke, a familial smile, or a stupid fight, you all have in some way altered who I am, and the resulting product is here because of you. You may now all weep inconsolably over this fact.

To those who read this - family, friends, and friends I haven't yet met - remember those around you. Give them a hug and tell them how important they are to you. You are only assured of this moment, all the rest are "spec".

To celebrate the beginning of holiday spirit, I give you an idea of what I would love to find underneath the tree this year. Her name is Kelli Garner. Remember, this is just spec. Feel free to use your imagination.