Troubling times...

Can you believe it only took people a day to register phony domains and setup websites for supposed aid to Hurricane Katrina victims just to make a buck? Anyone who knows me will attest I am not one for losing my cool (most of the thanks for that goes to my good friend Jeff – a story I might elaborate on one day), but few things piss me off more than a bully. If I hear about someone beating a child, a wife, or in any way abusing someone weaker than themselves, I go nuts. Though not physical, this "charitable donation" scam hurts not only good people who don't know any better but are trying honestly to help, but it also hurts the victims of this disaster who can't help themselves. That's called being a bully. I find it hard to believe that there are people who are so callous and self serving that they have no sense of human compassion whatsoever! Immediately following the 9-11 disaster, there were walking rectums auctioning off parts of the World Trade Center on EBay. How can anyone look at the footage from either of these disasters and think "Now HERE'S an opportunity to make a buck for myself!" I would love nothing more than to catch these kind of people alone in a dark alley. I think John Carpenter and Nick Castle had it right in "Escape from New York". By the way, I am not in any way suggesting we convert New York City into a prison. If we are going to do it, I think we should pick a city no one really cares about – like Redding.

I don't wish for for these idiots to get caught and put in prison. Why? Because then they get off. That's right. For the next 3 to 5 to 20 to life to however many years they get, we as tax payers get to completely support them! We pay for their room and board, utilities, clothes, laundry, gym membership fees, cable television and internet access, not to mention their medical, dental, optical, and psychological benefits! You want to put this into perspective? Consider this: Right now Charles Manson has better health insurance than me. Saddam Hussein has better health insurance than me. John Allen Muhammad and John Lee Malvo (the DC Snipers) have better health insurance than me. You want to know if I believe in Capital Punishment? Do I need to say more?

The eye for an eye approach is the way to go here. Intentionaly kill someone in cold blood, we kill you. An eighty five cent bullet versus the cost of guarding one prisoner. Do you realize that person who right now is standing at the intersection down the street holding up a cardboard sign saying "I can't make my life work – give me money – God Bless You" could end his suffering by picking up a rock and smashing someone in the head then sitting down and waiting for the cops to arrive? What fear of repercussion? He's gonna get a roof, warm bed, and 3 meals a day. He couldn't afford to go out anyway, so a prison yard is as good a place as any to hang out, and then HE gets better medical benefits than me. (Note to self: pick up rock after you finish here...)

I do believe we should pick a spot on this earth, quarantine it, and dump our human refuse there. Let them survive or die on their own, and the results should be well televised. You want Reality TV? Survivor – for real. Pull no punches and see if that doesn't start to scare some people straight. I am not completely heartless; there should be basic tools for farming, seeds for planting fruit and vegetables, a water supply, and livestock. Oh... and a library with books on how make it all work.

I am not one to stand on a soapbox about political or social issues. I believe there are enough people willing to share their beliefs and convictions in a public forum (whether I agree with them or not) that I am normally content to sit back and let these people speak their minds. As a performer I get my attention from entertaining others – providing escapism. So I apologize for my ranting. You want ranting? Check out my brother's blog.

A joke to close with: What do you get when you have two little green balls in your hand? Kermit's undivided attention.