All I can say is HOLY S$^#!!!
I have been dealing with some things. What to do when you have a problem with someone who insists no one else should know what is going on?
Now I believe I am pretty good at dealing with people and usually trust my judgment. But when both parties are adamant about their position, I think a third party should be consulted to help straighten things out. I am not above being convinced I am wrong, but when I believe the person accusing me of wrongdoing is absolutely wrong, then I am hard pressed to be swayed. So then what?
What really sucks is the argument is being played out like a soap opera between tweenagers (yes "tween") and it should have been resolved days ago, and I even said so. But the other person won't let go of their unalterable position. I am currently at the point where the only plausible outcomes are 1) an apology (receiving, not giving) or 2) a firing squad at 20 paces.
I really find myself angry more that the issue has become a topic of epic proportions and my attempts to kill it have been met with further diatribes. My friend Nick once told me something which really does put some things in perspective:
It is very well known men and women think differently. When it comes to arguments, men apply simple logic and rationalization to determine the outcome. If the other side presents a more compelling logical argument most men will concede the point and the argument is over. Women, on the other hand, need to have their feelings validated. It isn't as much about right or wrong as it is about the need for the other person to understand WHY she is upset.
Being able to figure out which category this person fits into has helped me with regard to most situations, but every now and it just doesn't matter.
posted by Roger C. @ 3/06/2007 01:24:00 PM
3 Comments:
Are you are talking about a long-term, otherwise-solid friendship? Is this a friendship worth saving?
The reason I ask is, too many relationships are ruined by pride, ego, stubbornness, etc. In order for good friendships -- true, honest friendships -- to survive the long haul, both sides need to give and take once in a while. It's very similar to a romantic relationship, minus the sex of course.
Are you willing to give a little, even apologize a little, even if you think you don't need to, if it would help to repair this rift?
I guess a simpler way to say it would be: Which is more important to you, the friendship or the satisfaction of knowing you're right?
Roger, what the HELL are you talking about?
You're dancing around the point like Fred Astaire, but you're confusing me terribly. First person, second person, third person...pick one, stick with it and either spell out the situation or leave it out of the blog.
It's like diplomacy in the freakin' Middle East...no one can really help because no one knows the entire, unbiased story at any given moment. (Is the use of "unbiased" and "Middle East" in the same paragraph oxymoronic...or is it just me?)
Also...
"...It is very well known men and women think differently. When it comes to arguments, men apply simple logic and rationalization to determine the outcome. If the other side presents a more compelling logical argument most men will concede the point and the argument is over. Women, on the other hand, need to have their feelings validated. It isn't as much about right or wrong as it is about the need for the other person to understand WHY she is upset..."
Quite a bit of generalization, don't you think? Isn't there a possibility that there are some emotional men and rational women out there? Though the emotions that steer men's decisions may be a bit different: ego, pride, anger, even embarassment. To say that men don't make irrational decisions is missing the mark by a mile.
(Sorry. Had to get that 2ยข in...)
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