Sibling rivalry

is, for good or bad, a primary, underlying principle of who I am -- well, who my brother and I ARE.

I found a rather informative essay on the subject, but as the author lays out the fundamental causes of this condition, I didn't see an exact mirror into my soul. I think in my case sibling rivalry was a product of a) proximity and b) the difference in our ages. At 3 years younger than I, my brother always wanted to hang out with me and my friends, but really wasn't physically capable of keeping up or understanding the rules of whatever I might be playing. Much like Cain my reaction was "Am I my brother's keeper?" As a boy, I didn't have the insight or the compassion to put myself in his shoes. My parents' constant prodding of peaceful co-habitation seemed to fuel the flame more than staunch it. All I saw was the little pest who slowed me down and who got in the way of whatever it was I was trying to do. This was further bolstered by the fact we shared a bedroom until I was 13. Now I don't recall having a strong need or desire for privacy, but if you are irritated with someone the last thing you need at night is to have that person sleeping across from you in the same room.

Our rivalry manifested itself in different ways. There are things we absolutely have in common: Our love for the Washington Redskins and ELO, the intense desire to demolish the Martinez brothers in every game of Nerf football (a feat accomplished way more often than not), and a virtually identical sense of humor. I am fairly confident that if I laugh at something I know he will find it funny. But the rivalry -- virtually everything he and I attempted was fueled by "how did HE do?" I started reading at a very young age, which simply forced Stu to do the same. I was riding a bike without training wheels -- so did he. It was never much about the physical (I had too many years on him), but later it was about the intellectual. A couple of years ago there was a TV show that was an actual IQ test. We were on the phone to each other each commercial break to compare notes (the final result was a difference of 3 points - I honestly don't remember who was higher). Although I can't take any credit for him joining the Army (something he was destined to do LONG before I thought about it), I can't help but think part of him said "Hell, if HE can do it..."

I stated proximity and age difference as the primary causes. I think further proof of this is the fact my kid sister and I experienced none of this. She simply annoyed me by being a girl who insisted on buying a Bee Gees album over Kiss "Love Gun". On the other hand, Stuart and Cheryl's rivalry is an epic tale which is theirs to share at their own discretion.

I don't fathom how or why my brother and I get along now. I know I was cruel -- and even unapologetic in my cruelty. He has earned the right to ignore me. But even with our differences, he still gets the jokes better than anyone else. I have always had his back (no one but ME gets to hit him) and he mine. We are brothers and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So the next time you read a comment cursing the downfall of my favorite sports team, look at the source. If it is from Charge of Quarters simply remember that I had the higher GS Score, but he at least can still grow hair.