Quote of the day...

If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

True to her name

I present Megan Fox. I haven't posted a babe in a couple of weeks, so I thought I would go for amazing. Enjoy.

1 down...

One more holiday to go. I had a great Christmas, though I did have only one day to do all my shopping. I pulled it off though, and was pleased at the response I got from the gift recipients.

I hope everyone has a good week (a shortened one at that) and plenty of rest to prepare themselves for the debauchery that is New Year's Eve.

A gift from a friend...

Glad to have you back. Love the shirt!

Merry Christmas to all...

I just found proof that the universe does have order and a purpose, and ours is not to question but accept. All will be explained Valentines Day 2006. On that glorious day, the penultimate addition to my DVD collection will be released:



So have faith my friends. Enjoy those in your life and dream of the day when that glorious theme song once again rings through your head 24 hours a day... "Charles in Charge, of our days, and our nights..."

Always funny, sometimes brilliant!

Satire at it's best, check out The Onion.

I am moving to Aruba,

building a small hut on the beach, and hiding inside in the fetal position for the next 7 years! Luck be a Lady? Yeah, I currently got the one with PMS and a vendetta against men! If I came across a penny on the ground, not only would it be face down, but I would manage to trip over it and break my ankle... which would somehow result in something bad happening to my car.

Driving home Monday evening, all is well with the world -- until my battery died... on the freeway... the battery I bought on Wednesday... right, last Wednesday the 14th of December... 2005. I coasted off the freeway before the engine completely died, and pushed the car clear of the intersection for about 12 feet where we (my car and I) sat and waited two hours for a tow truck. A new alternator and $350 later, this morning I am back on the road. So to recap, since December 1st:

• Car broken into and vandalized (see previous blog entry for pictures).
• Got car back a week later, but the heater control doesn't work correctly, with the only working setting being the defroster. I make arrangements to return car to shop.
• The morning I take the car to the shop (4 days later), the battery dies as I wait at the stop light right in front of the body shop.
• Heater and defroster controls are fixed, and the battery is charged. I am handed a readout which I am assured says there is no extra "draw" on the electrical system, that the battery is holding a charge, and the alternator is doing its job.
• The next morning, I walk out to my car to go to work. The car won't start, as the battery is dead. I get the car jumped started and drive to Sears where after much consideration and testing, they determine I had a weak battery which was causing the previous "A-OK" readings to be inaccurate. I buy a new battery, and am assured everything is good to go.
• 5 days later, the car dies on the freeway, and the third mechanic in a little over two weeks tells me my alternator isn't working right, and replaces it.
  

The side effects of this all this are:

• 14 hours of missed work
• 2 different rental car fees (though one was mostly handled by insurance)
• A new alternator (it's death still surrounded by odd circumstances and timing -- see all the above)
• Out of pocket expenses high enough to negatively affect my holiday gift purchasing abilities.

Oh, by the way, I am also now suffering from an ear infection, which is currently causing about an 70% hearing loss in my right ear.

And I still don't have a girlfriend (I might as well get all the griping in at once).

I am continually amazed...

at the human mind. Of course, I used to think the human brain was the most fascinating part of the human body -- then I realzed what was telling me that (Thanks Emo).

I find it interesting what things people latch onto, and how that affects their perceptions about a certain movie, song, smell, etc. For example, I have some major, MAJOR issues with the movie "Full Metal Jacket". First, I loved the basic training scenes -- in my opinion the most realistic I have ever seen -- right up until the end when Pyle loses it (I wont go into details, you never know who is reading and I don't want to add any spoilers). From that point on, the movie lost all credibility for me, and I really hated it. Why? Because that one scene went too far from my ability to suspend my disbelief. I was in basic training (many moons ago), I know how it was, and the ability for a bootcamp private to obtain a full clip of ammo is pretty non-feasible.

I saw King Kong last week and loved it! I mean it is a full blown 3-hour roller coaster, and it is a masterpiece tribute to the original film. But I just had lunch with someone who proceeded to tell me how much he disliked the film because of the behavior (or irratic and unrealistic behavior according to him) of certain animals and the like (again, this is not the site for spoilers). Interestingly, this was enough to drive him to the side of hate whereas I was too busy wrapped up in the story Peter Jackson was telling. Give me your feedback, I am curious.

Only 2 shows left for Garbeau's Xmas. I have had fun, but I gotta say I won't be missing the six performances a week. Looks like my next endeavor in the performing category will be percussion for "They're Playing Our Song" in March, also at Garbeau's.

More later.

The sage says…

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

– thanks to Cue for sending this to me.

I think it's safe now...

I have let a couple of days pass, so I think it's safe to add a new entry without the system cr

What the....

I gotta say, my run of luck lately is not condusive to a trip to a casino any time soon.

I got my car back from the shop on Friday, and I was very pleased with the work they performed... almost. For you loyal readers, you know the heating controls had to be repaired along with the stereo, but the technician messed up. Don't know if he was a in a hurry or what, but no matter what position I set the heater control to - vent, floor, defroster - it only turns on the defroster. So I made arrangementsto be there at 7:30 this morning so they can resolve this issue.

I am sitting at the light, waiting to turn into the body shop, when my battery decides to die.

Yeah, I am a walking 4-leaf clover. I will type more soon... I don't want to inadvertently crash my blog.

I could post these every day...

But it is impractical. Stay on top of this site, it updates constantly, and these cartoons are hysterical!

More annoying things...

Capital punishment is in the news again, this time pertaining to Stanley "Tookie" Williams. If his sentence is commuted, he will spend the rest of his life behind bars without the possibility of parole.

Here's my position (one of the few times you will see me get political on this site): I am absolutely against life imprisonment, and I do believe in capital punishment. Here we have somebody who has been convicted of crimes so heinous that society has determined that not only does he offer no useful benefit to society, but is also a risk to its safety. The result of this determination is taxpayers now have to pay his room, food, utilities, recreation, medical and dental benefits (which I, a law abiding, tax paying citizen don't have), and other necessary living expenses. According to the Department of Justice, it costs $22,632 a year, or $62.01 a day to house one inmate (as of 2001, these are the latest calculated figures). So, let's assume no inflation, and use a general number of 500 "lifers" (there are far more than that) – If they all were incarcerated at the same time, and lived the same duration of 45 years behind bars (that's gotta be conservative what with all the excellent treatment), that would be $509,220,000. Now you and I both know these figures aren't entirely accurate, but the basic math doesn't lie. Let's give this money to charity or use it to establish work programs and housing solutions for our impoverished.

You can throw all the morality issues you want at me, but the bottom line is, these are people who have proven they do not want to live by the rules of society. You read about them reforming in prison – Of course they've reformed! That's because they finally have realized the consequences of their actions and the impending outcome. If we are not going to parole them, then why are we sustaining them? Capital punishment is only a deterrent if its threat is very real. I am not uncaring and uncompassionate, and I do believe in the sanctity of human life. I am not talking about "an eye for an eye" either. I simply maintain that if it has been determined that the risks of returning an individual to society are so high we have to keep them behind bars until they die, then we should get rid of them, not unlike any other thing which has outlived its usefulness.

Along those lines, I think our appeal process needs an overhaul as well. Our judicial system provides that we either convict or acquit someone based on all the available evidence in one trial. Great! BUT – should someone be found guilty, then we have the appeal process, which is conducted on a point by point basis, each with the possibility of escalating to the next higher court. Since each contested point is handled individually, prisoners on death row can be there for 24 years (see above article on Mr. Williams). I say that if convicted, the legal team of the defendant is allowed to make a summary appeal of all the points of contention. This can be escalated as necessary, but there should be a time limit on this. This process can be handled in no more than two years! Why does it take 24? I am sorry, there can't possibly be that much legal wrangling that has to be done at this point. C'mon, a couple of my friends out there are attorneys – fill me in! Educate me! Why? Stop wasting my tax money to keep Charles Manson alive!

Rant over. I am calm now. Please feel free to respond, and enjoy this picture of Kristin Bell of Veronica Mars fame.

In happier news...

My sister and her clan are currently on a Disney cruise with my parents, and all are having a great time... dammit.

Here's the munchkins (Justyn and Allyson) in peak form (I LOVE Ally's face in this pic).

Violated...

Yep, that's me. Ok, well at least my car. Thursday night someone decided, in the middle of a rainstorm, that my POS stereo in my POS Ford Escort was worth stealing. Here's how they got in:



The most annoying part of this senseless vandalism was what was done to the dashboard. The problem lies in the fact that the stereo is part of a larger piece which also houses the heating and air conditioning controls:



So my heating and defroster controls were thrashed, making it impossible to drive home during a rain storm. The current status is my car is in the car hospital and I am driving a rental car, seething at the possibility of finding the person who needed my stereo more than me.

Pop Culture meets "Culture"

Could the end of the civilized world be far behind? Tim Burton's 1990 hit Edward Scissorhands has been realized for the stage – as a ballet, and apparently a really good one at that. I love the fact it is performed to Danny Elfman's score. Cool...

Coming next summer – Scarface, the musical comedy.