Today's chuckle...

Thanks Jennifer.

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my daughter's dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.......Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Today's chuckle...

Thanks Cue.

The Haircut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies,'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

ROCK IT!!!

This girl kicks some serious Rock Ass! After this performance, note the thunderous applause!

Amazing Young Organ Player Rocks Out - Watch more free videos

Today's chuckle...part 2

Thanks again to Kristin. May not be new to everyone, but I laughed out loud so it's blogged!

Ten Peeves That Dogs Have About Humans

'1'
Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!
--------------------------------------------
'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

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'3'
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

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'4'
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.
Stop it!

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'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

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'6'
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

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'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

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'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?

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'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!

Today's Chuckle...

This guy Bo Burnham has some pretty funny songs on Youtube... I laughed pretty hard at this one.

Today's chuckle...

Thanks Andee.

Why Sentence Structure Is So Important

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I either have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like crap."

News from the canine world - January 17, 2008

I love duck shit... more importantly I like to roll in duck shit. No really, the fresher the better. The big guy took me to the park after he got home today and I started to run around when I saw it - fresh and still moist. I couldn't wait to burrow my right cheek and side right into it - it was pure heaven! Then the big guy gets all over my case! I don't get it! He yells at me, tries to "correct" me (yeah, like THAT'S going to work), and then heads back towards the car! I'm following him when I find - wait for it - a SECOND pile! I thought I had died and gone to heaven! Before the big guy could stop me, I got the left cheek and side!

I almost died. I thought the big guy was going to kill me... or that he was going to fall over dead himself... Seriously, I never knew his face could get that shade of crimson!

I don't know why he was so pissed about it... I LIKED the smell! So he drives home like a maniac, then - get this - picks me up and puts me in the tub! Gotta say tho, that Pert Plus makes my fur SOFT (the big guy was mumbling something about not having any dog shampoo - Hell, I'm surprised he even has people shampoo. Have you seen his bald head?)!

Afterward, he does his best to dry me off with a towel then has to borrow a blow dryer (baldie!) from his neighbor and I am forced to stand there and let him dry me... I wasn't too happy about that.

My revenge? Yeah, I got mine! Apparently I managed to clog his tub so bad he had to call one of those plumber guys... $150!

So I am thinking the moral of this story is - When I find the duck shit, you better get me quick or it's gonna cost ya!

One of the perks of being an actor/singer/musician

...is that I get to meet some truly incredible people. This is my friend Ashley. Not only is she truly gorgeous and amazingly sweet, but one day soon she will be blowing up the record charts.

Mr. Swords could've taught the Landlord's Niece a few things...

Waitress gets $50,000, car from cranky Texan
‘I still can't believe it,’ Luby's cafeteria worker says of bequest

Associated Press updated 6:37 p.m. PT, Fri., Dec. 28, 2007

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - For nearly seven years Melina Salazar did her best to put on a smile and tend to the every need of her most loyal and cantankerous customer.

She made sure his food was as hot as he wanted, even if it meant he burned his mouth. And she smiled through his demands and curses. The 89-year-old Walter "Buck" Swords obviously appreciated it, leaving the waitress $50,000 and a 2000 Buick when he died.

"I still can't believe it," the Luby's cafeteria employee told Harlingen television station KGBT-TV in an interview during which she described Swords as "kind of mean."

Swords, a World War II veteran, died in July. But Salazar learned just a few days before Christmas that he had left her the money and car.

Man, won't I feel like a heel if I ever again leave only a 15% tip.

Hell, I give the waitress at least 15% for bringing me a Diet Coke...

Fast-food worker returns $185,000 check
McDonald's employee returns check to bank after finding it on sidewalk

Associated Press updated 5:30 a.m. PT, Wed., Jan. 2, 2008

NORWICH, Connecticut - Reggie Damone just wanted to jot down a phone number when he picked up what he thought was litter on a sidewalk this week. But what he found was an envelope containing a $185,000 check.

Damone, who receives government-issued food stamps for low-income workers and works at a McDonald's fast food restaurant, said he did not think twice about trying to cash it. Instead, the 47-year-old took a bus Monday from his Jewett City home to a bank and returned the check to the niece of the landlord to whom the check was written.

She thanked Damone with a $50 bill.

$50 against $185,000? C'mon! Now I know it was simply a check which Mr. Damone probably wouldn't have been able to cash anyway, and the check owner could've put a stop payment on it and simply have it re-issued. But I would like to believe were I the owner of the check I could do better than $50 - $100 maybe?

I also don't know the financial situation of the check owner - sure the check was for $185,000 but they might have owed $250,000. It just somehow seems off to me.

No one had a Razr handy?

Dozens in Texas town report seeing UFO
Large silent object with bright lights was flying low and fast

By Angela K. Brown
Associated Press updated 5:51 p.m. PT, Mon., Jan. 14, 2008

STEPHENVILLE, Texas - In this farming community where nightfall usually brings clear, starry skies, residents are abuzz over reported sightings of what many believe is a UFO.

Several dozen people — including a pilot, county constable and business owners — insist they have seen a large silent object with bright lights flying low and fast. Some reported seeing fighter jets chasing it.

"People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it's the end of times," said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. "It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts."

While federal officials insist there's a logical explanation, locals swear that it was larger, quieter, faster and lower to the ground than an airplane. They also said the object's lights changed configuration, unlike those of a plane. People in several towns who reported seeing it over several weeks have offered similar descriptions of the object.

Machinist Ricky Sorrells said friends made fun of him when he told them he saw a flat, metallic object hovering about 300 feet over a pasture behind his Dublin home. But he decided to come forward after reading similar accounts in the Stephenville Empire-Tribune.

"You hear about big bass or big buck in the area, but this is a different deal," Sorrells said. "It feels good to hear that other people saw something, because that means I'm not crazy."

Sorrells said he has seen the object several times. He said he watched it through his rifle's telescopic lens and described it as very large and without seams, nuts or bolts.

Maj. Karl Lewis, a spokesman for the 301st Fighter Wing at the Joint Reserve Base Naval Air Station in Fort Worth, said no F-16s or other aircraft from his base were in the area the night of Jan. 8, when most people reported the sighting.

Lewis said the object may have been an illusion caused by two commercial airplanes. Lights from the aircraft would seem unusually bright and may appear orange from the setting sun.

"I'm 90 percent sure this was an airliner," Lewis said. "With the sun's angle, it can play tricks on you."

Officials at the region's two Air Force bases — Dyess in Abilene and Sheppard in Wichita Falls — also said none of their aircraft were in the area last week. The Air Force no longer investigates UFOs.

One man has offered a reward for a photograph or videotape of the mysterious object.

About 200 UFO sightings are reported each month, mostly in California, Colorado and Texas, according to the Mutual UFO Network, which plans to go to the 17,000-resident town of Stephenville to investigate.

Fourteen percent of Americans polled last year by The Associated Press and Ipsos say they have seen a UFO.

Erath County Constable Lee Roy Gaitan said that he first saw red glowing lights and then white flashing lights moving fast, but that even with binoculars could not see the object to which the lights were attached.

"I didn't see a flying saucer and I don't know what it was, but it wasn't an airplane, and I've never seen anything like it," Gaitan said. "I think it must be some kind of military craft — at least I hope it was."

According to my research, more than 60% of US mobile phone users have camera functionality in their phones in 2007, up from about 40% in 2006. In-Stat predicts more than 1 bln camera phones will be in use by year-end 2007. How in the hell did not one person have one handy? If Lindsay Lohan scratches her ass there are approximately 327 photographs of it on the Internet within minutes, but no one can take a picture of a UFO? Weird.

A shot in the dark - great aim!

Police: Man shoots self in groin during robbery
Incident occurs as man was robbing a convenience store, police say

Associated Press updated 6:28 a.m. PT, Wed., Jan. 16, 2008

KOKOMO, Ind. - Oh, shoot! A man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store Tuesday, police said.

A clerk told police a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes. The clerk put the cash in a bag and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge.

Police say surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants. The clerk wasn't injured.

A short time later, police found 25-year-old Derrick Kosch at a home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg.

Kosch was released from the hospital Tuesday and booked into the Howard County jail on a charge of armed robbery, criminal recklessness and battery. He is being held on a $100,000 cash bail. A jail official did not know if he had retained an attorney Wednesday.

Criminal recklessness... was he charged for a self-inflicted gunshot wound? That's what I call reckless. So remember kiddies, when sticking a gun down your pants keep your finger off the frickin' trigger!

3 Strikes... 33 times!

Man arrested for 99th time
Jan. 16: Cedric McCants, a New York man police call a serial burglar, has just been arrested for the 99th time. He's been jailed 15 times and his longest jail stint was four years.

OK, somebody here is not getting the picture. I would definitely consider removing one of his hands at the wrist - old school punishment! How many more strikes do you give this guy? Ah hell, go for an even 100 - "If I told you once I told you a hundred times...."

Moon River - a story.

Man sues hospital after unwanted rectal exam
'Please don't do that,' he claims he said to staff who held him down

Associated Press updated 8:54 a.m. PT, Wed., Jan. 16, 2008

NEW YORK - A construction worker claimed in a lawsuit claiming that when he went to a hospital after being hit on the forehead by a falling wooden beam, emergency room staffers forcibly gave him a rectal examination.

Brian Persaud, 38, says in court papers that after he denied a request by NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital emergency room employees to examine his rectum, he was "assaulted, battered and falsely imprisoned."

His lawyer, Gerrard M. Marrone, said he and Persaud later learned the exam was one way of determining whether he had suffered spinal damage in the accident.

Marrone said his client got eight stitches for a cut over his eyebrow.

Then, Marrone said, emergency room staffers insisted on examining his rectum and held him down while he begged, "Please don't do that." He said Persaud hit a doctor while flailing around and staffers gave him an injection, which knocked him out, and performed the rectal exam.

Persaud woke up handcuffed to a bed and with an oxygen tube down his throat, the lawyer said, and spent three days in a detention center.

A request by the hospital to dismiss Persaud's lawsuit was denied by Justice Alice Schlesinger, who ordered a trial to start March 31.

Hospital spokesman Bryan Dotson said, "While it would be inappropriate for us to comment on specifics of the case, we believe it is completely without merit and intend to contest it vigorously."

Persaud's lawsuit, filed in Manhattan's state Supreme Court, seeks unspecified damages. A judge dismissed a misdemeanor assault charge against him.

I am thinking if I was a doctor there must be an easier way to get a piece of ass.

Oh wait... I forgot... was it?... Ah hell.

I am in my car when I hear on the radio a commercial for Identigene. No catchy theme or clever hook, just a commercial. I barely acknowledge it as I contemplate other things going on in... WHAT?!!

Identigene. Over the counter Paternity Test kit now selling at Rite Aid. The voice over seriously went something like this: "My husband had doubts as to whether he was the father of our daughter, but I was too ashamed to admit to anyone he had a right to be. Luckily, I found Identigene. We were able to take the test at home and got the results in 3-5 days. My husband was relieved..."

What I found most funny about this was that it was delivered with the same sense of "matter of fact"-ness as an aspirin commercial - doesn't EVERYONE have Paternity questions?

Let's look at the shopping list:

Milk
Eggs
Peanut Butter
Deodorant
Shampoo
Paternity Test Kit
Condoms
Shaving Cream...

Whatever happened to the day when the girl told the boy he was going to be a father and he simply offered to a) marry her or b) pay to have it taken care of?

Ah, I miss those days when life was simpler and morality issues were handled by a Scarlet letter and banishment.

A very interesting take on Religion/Atheism

From my friend Lars. His blog is pretty entertaining, even if you don't always agree with his points of view. Here he has managed to pretty much crystallize my opinion as well. As usual Gentle Readers, I invite your comments and opinions. I will even forward them on for you if you wish.

Alex, I Would Like to Solve the Puzzle Please

I consider it the height of irony when I hear a scientific idea being described from a religious standpoint by an “expert” in the field. I could line up 100 other “experts” who are not believers to support one side of, say, the need for intense stem cell research and the religious community will shrug off their credentials and their exhortations simply because these “secular scientists” do not give religious concerns or even “what the Bible says” proper importance. But they are quick hold up the academic and professional achievements of a “Christian scientist” who publicly voices opposition. What we atheists all want to point out at these moments is that, first of all, it’s 100 voices against 1, and second, listening to the religious voice and giving it any weight is like listening to Charles H. Duell as head of the U.S. Patent Office in 1899 recommending that the Office be closed because “everything that can be invented has been invented” and not bursting out laughing. Although the story of Mr. Duell recommending the Patent Office’s closure is a myth, the fact that religious scientists are close to being worthless, if not downright dangerous, is not.

The religious community of God believers always likes to trot out Copernicus, Galileo, Sir Isaac Newton and a few other historical scientists of note to show that great scientists have never had any trouble also believing in a personal God. This, of course, is an ingenuous ploy not only because for every one they can claim to be believers there are dozens who didn't, but also because even though these men (and women) may have outwardly purported to believe in God (Newton certainly did, but I am not so sure about Copernicus) and what they had discovered may have been extremely important to the advancement of human scientific knowledge it cannot be said that it is because they believed in God that the discoveries and advancements were made. I would say that it had nothing at all to do with it. If anything, “the Church” was continually instrumental in holding them back from the work they could have accomplished had they been given the freedom to do so and only reluctantly acknowledged it when they absolutely had to. Over and over again in history discoveries have been made by scientists, religious or not and over and over again the critics, nay-sayers and yes, the persecutors rise up from the religious establishment and seriously deter if not altogether squash them so that if takes another great scientist in a later time to bring to light the knowledge that the earlier scientist may have given us.

To speak in round numbers, it is certain that 500 years ago the most knowledgeable scientists could not say for certain what the thousands of lights they saw in the sky at night even were. It was not known to them which organ in our bodies acted as the seat of thought. No one knew about, let alone understood the physiology of the human circulatory system. No one knew exactly how plants came to grow when you potted them well, watered them and gave them sunlight. Biological reproduction was a mystery. Even the Greeks saw the effects of electricity when cloth was rubbed against amber but, in the year 1508, the word “electricity” was more than a century away from first being coined. Aerodynamics? Not a clue. Earthquakes? No idea. As late as 1930 the best guess as to the true age of the earth was still somewhere between 30,000 and 100,000 years.

I could rant about the role that religious persecution, intolerance and ignorance has played in the devastated lives of millions upon millions of individual people who have passed from birth to death on this planet in the last two millennia. I could write of the religious wars and the way in which religion and its countless manifestations have held people of lower class down so that generations upon generations of aristocracies could glut themselves. There are so many reasons to see belief and the insufferable, theocratic, bureaucratic outgrowth of that belief as a terrible and embarrassing line item in the ledger of human culture. But the exact protest I would like to make here concerns the stultifying effect that religion’s constant presence in any of its forms has had upon our general understanding of the world around us, the workings of our own bodies, the microscopic world, and the universe at large.

And all I want to really ask is this…What in Hell have they been afraid of!?!? Well, I am going to tell you.

You know what it’s like? Religion and the behavior of its adherents? It’s like a giant game of that old game Alex Trebek hosted for a while back in the late 1980s…Classic Concentration. The contestants would compete for prizes and the right to make attempts at solving the rebus puzzle initially hidden by the 30 panels on the playing board. If a player matched two panels, they would win the prize described on the matching pair and then they would be removed so that parts of the rebus would be revealed underneath. As the game went on, two by two, the panels would be removed and the puzzle would appear until, at some point, there was enough information for one of the contestants to put it all together and utter the full and precise answer for the right to play for the grand prize, a shiny new automobile. The idea was to keep matching tiles so that you had a much clearer picture of the rebus before you made your guess but for the uninitiated even a fully revealed puzzle was sometimes surprisingly difficult get right and much mockery was made of the contestants who just couldn’t see it though it was staring them right in the face. Now, I see a lot of comparison between that game and the effects religion has had throughout history. See, it would be as if a bunch of people got together to play a giant version of the game and one person decided after the first two panels were removed that he had the answer to the puzzle. He would say,

“I have the answer…I don’t have to play anymore.”

“What? Already? Wow. Well, ok, what is your answer?,” the host would ask, who in this case would be just a moderator and would not know the answer himself.

The contestant confidently would answer, “early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

“It is possible, I guess, and it is certainly poignant, but it is extraordinary that you know that already,” the host might observe. “Don’t you want to know for certain before throwing down your choice?”

To the surprise of almost everyone, “I am sure of the answer. Therefore, I don’t need to play anymore.”

At this point some of the other contestants would be convinced simply due to the man’s charisma and confidence. Besides, they were never any good at these kinds of puzzles anyway…he sounds like he knows what he is talking about. They would also leave the game.

The game would go on and a few more panels would be revealed. The remaining contestants would be able to easily see that the first respondent’s answer, despite his earlier confidence, was incorrect. The host might return to the first respondent and ask him if he wanted back in the game.

The contestant would reply, “I already told you that my answer was, ‘early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’ and it is still obviously correct. I don’t need to play anymore.”

The host might be willing to be understanding of the man’s obviously embarrassing plight and might persist. “No, you see right here. Your answer simply can’t be right. We have proof.”

The man would steadfastly respond, “You can’t be sure of it. That might not be the picture of a cash register…it could be a futon.”

“No, I think it is a cash register. The buttons are right there,” the host would explain.

The contestant would reply, “I already told you that my answer was, “never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”

Professionally ignoring the guffaws from the audience the host would patiently remind him, “No, you said that the answer was, ‘early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.’”

“No I didn’t,” the contestant would protest with a Python-esque defiance.

“Yes, you did. We have it on tape,” the host would state, matter-of-factly.

Without an ounce of incongruity in his voice the deluded man would answer, “Well, what I meant by saying ‘early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise’ was ‘never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.’" For a moment there would be a stunned, unbelieving silence in the studio. But then most of the early respondent’s group of admirers, not wanting to admit they may have been incorrect in following along in the first place and probably for the most part just figured they are not smart enough to understand the mystery of the switcheroo that they had just witnessed, would voice their support for the man and stay beside him. But there would be a few that would admit the mistake and drift back to the main group to wait for a better answer. The host would begin to say something about the rules of participation, how the rules clearly allow changing one's answer so it is completely unnecessary to lie about it, but would realize that it was of no use to waste his breath and would go on with the game.

Every time more panels of the puzzle are revealed the same thing would occur. The early responder would insist that his previous answer was correct, deny all evidence to the contrary, and when he finally seems to realize that he was, in fact, wrong, he would claim to have never had the previous, much different answer. And what would astound the host and the audience more than anything would be that each time bits of the puzzle are revealed the man insists on trying to solve it. He can’t seem to just shut up and let the thing reveal itself naturally. He has to have an answer, not partial bits of the answer but the whole answer. And there are so many contestants that simply don’t want to think for themselves each time the man makes “updates” that they too would ignore the evidence and the obviously unstable nature of the man and stay by his side. And each time more of the puzzle comes to light the early responder, the obviously delusional man would claim that no one else knows for sure what the answer to the puzzle is and therefore has no business telling him that he doesn’t have the right answer.

To make matters even more confusing, there would seem to be a disturbing trend among the remaining contestants. During every round of the game more of them would decide that instead of waiting for additional clues to the puzzle’s true nature to be revealed they would make a guess of their own, confidently state their position as to the final answer, and drag others to their camp, leaving less and less contestants to work out the puzzle’s actual solution. This would invariably frustrate the host and would also leave the remaining, enthusiastic contestants feeling they like they need to convince those who have bowed out that they are missing the most important point of the game. They would want to tell them how the game is more fun if one does not insist on knowing the answer. They would say that the focus of the game should be the challenge of the game itself and there is no reason for anyone to be embarrassed to say that they are still stumped by parts of it. They would insist that it is ok to patiently wait for more and more panels to be revealed. Some of the more exasperated players would burst out, "You don't know what you are talking about!"

And the insistent and delusional early responders would shoot back, "No, I know the truth, it is you who don't know the truth. Don't you want to quit the game and share the truth with us?" And then fights would begin to break out between the early responders some based on aspects as mundane as the inflection with which you must utter the final answer or how fast to say it.

In our hypothetical and supremely chaotic game of Classic Concentration, the fortitude of the deluded, pre-ejaculatory and combatative contestants is always found in the “gaps” of knowledge, the areas of the unknown. If the information from these gaps was known there would be no confusion and no disagreement. Even they would have to admit the truth when it was revealed to them. But instead of admitting they are wrong they simply co-opt the truth to be their own, original answer. They adjust the history in their own minds and blithely put forth this claim to the rest of the contestants. This is very frustrating to those playing by the rules of the game and it keeps them from the job at hand, that of solving the puzzle. And so the one wish of all the remaining players is for the delusional ones to just shut the Hell up if they aren’t going to really play anymore.

This is why it is frustrating for us who are still “playing the game” and searching for real answers in the real world to the interminable list of questions that remain unknown or only partially answered. We know science is indefatigable in its search for these answers and to answers for questions that have not yet even been posed. We don’t have to be experts in high energy physics or evolutionary biology or astronomical phenomenon to know that it is worth “playing the game”. Religious people, by succumbing to their delusions (or simply to their indifference), not only possibly dilute the pool of intelligent people searching for the truth, they hold up the “game” and stand in the way of the fulfilling experience of those of us still actively participating in either the actual science or the eager comsumption of the findings. Religion, at worst being sanctioned by the state and at best being the nay-saying, loudmouthed bystander, never, ever has given science the freedom to advance the breadth of its knowledge without meddling in it because whenever science makes an advance it is to the detriment of religion which will have narrower and fewer “gaps” from which to claim relevance. Just imagine to what heights science may have taken human understanding of the very small, very large and all other aspects of the natural world if it had not been for the stultifying effects of the religious stranglehold upon its activities! It does not have to result in planes flying into buildings or a crusade against occupying infidels or the downtrodden state of the underclass for it to be a constant drag upon our progress. Anyone who thinks that religious belief is only a harmless characteristic of our modern culture for religion to still have such power over people’s lives, even if it is just wasting their time on Sunday morning, has not thought about it nearly enough.

New Year, New Problems..

So, last Tuesday was scary for me. I woke up, finished my morning ablutions, cleaned my shower and my toilet, got dressed and started my drive to work. Oddly, I was sweating and out of breath as if I had just finished working out, and the tips of my fingers were tingling. I thought I might be having a heart attack. So I deviated course and headed straight for the Emergency Room, calling my work to let them know.

Upon arrival at the ER, I was escorted pretty quickly to a treatment room (apparently you mention coronary issues and the hospital doesn't make you wait in the lobby for very long, if at all). My blood pressure was off the charts (221/117). Having no idea what those numbers meant, all I knew is I was feeling poorly.

6 hours later (much of which was truly "hurry up and wait" time), my blood pressure was down to a reasonable level, all the tests were negative (no heart attack), I was given some high blood pressure medication and sent home for 2 days. I have since been to my regular doctor and was prescribed a more permanent medication and am feeling OK . My doctor also didn't have any concerns about my health, but of course stressed weight loss.

So now I am hitting the pool every morning at 5 frickin 30 and getting exercise again. I do love swimming and bemoan myself for letting myself lapse as far as I did.

On a brighter note, Friday night was a Poker night. Yeah!

I lost. Crap.

I will try to update more frequently for my avid readers, sorry about the vacation.

I've been enjoying my time off work...

So I haven't done any "blogging." But please enjoy the Year in Review 2007 by Dave Barry. Very funny stuff!

I will be back in the writing saddle again soon.